Which I of course never do.
. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment,
but rather insist he have s*x with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having s*x with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy cummers.
11. People in the 70's couldn't cum unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable s*xual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and
slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "oh yeah!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having s*x in the bushes,the boyfriend
won't bash seven shades of sh*t out of you if you shove your c*ck in his girlfriend's
mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle
slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patients c*cks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily
pissed off before f*cking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's c*ck, it's important for him to remind her to "suck
it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a
c*ck there.
29. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back
of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
30. Dorky guys never have to beg.
.... unless i am the man in there 
